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First-graders were asked to complete well-known proverbs. This is what they came up with. (Thank you, Joan, for the giggles.)

  • Don’t change horses… until they stop running.
  • Strike while the… bug is close.
  • It’s always darkest before… Daylight Saving Time.
  • Never underestimate the power of… termites.
  • You can lead a horse to water but… how?
  • Don’t bite the hand that… looks dirty.
  • No news is… impossible
  • A miss is as good as a… Mr.
  • You can’t teach an old dog new… math
  • If you lie down with dogs, you’ll… stink in the morning.
  • Love all, trust… me.
  • The pen is mightier than the… pigs.
  • An idle mind is… the best way to relax.
  • Where there’s smoke there’s… pollution.
  • Happy the bride who… gets all the presents.
  • A penny saved is… not much.
  • Two’s company, three’s… the Musketeers.
  • Don’t put off till tomorrow what… you put on to go to bed.
  • Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and… you have to blow your nose.
  • There are none so blind as… Stevie Wonder.
  • Children should be seen and not… spanked or grounded.
  • If at first you don’t succeed… get new batteries.
  • You get out of something only what you… see in the picture on the box.
  • When the blind lead the blind… get out of the way.
  • A bird in the hand… is going to poop on you.
  • Better late than… pregnant.

The above were sent to alphaDictionary, which is a treasure trove, by Susan Lister. She also contributed the beautiful definitions below:

The Sciences

  • “Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.”
  • When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.”
  • “H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.”
  • “The body consists of three parts—the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five: a, e, i, o and u.”
  • “The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.”
  • “The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.”
  • “Equator: A menagerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.”
  • “Germinate: To become a naturalized German.”
  • A myth is a female moth.