It’s time for some honest self-help. Writing is extremely authoritative, it’s just the writer out there, and that is truly intimidating. It’s a fear of failure, the nightmare of being defenseless before a group of hostile assessors. I can hear their sneering voices in my dreams, and wake up mumbling “give me a break”.
I thought writing a coursebook was done by a big cohort. It is, but not the way I thought. The author does the writing, and then in comes everyone else to do their bit, like giving feedback on whether they would use it with their classes, or following up on photo rights.
Feeling trapped in this situation, I’m frustrated about myself and quickly aggressive towards others. My instinct is to build a cave inside this trap, to take shelter and lock everyone and everything out. Take command of the key.
I made a pact with Helmut this morning: When he comes back, this unit will be finished. It’s down to you, constant stranger.
Oops, 10:30. Back to work.