The Onion, that great fake newspaper, reports on some of iPhone 3G’s most highly anticipated features:
- Nanotechnology enables it to reassemble itself when thrown against a wall
- An exclusive link to Google Street View lets you watch yourself using your iPhone at all times
- The iPhone takes Polaroids
- When moved from hand to ear, it makes Lightsaber sound effects
I’d love to have one. Oh, well. Mahalo Daily reports that it has some weaknesses…
– song video pulled from YouTube –
I woke up this morning on Friday, July 11,
excited to go to the Apple Store to buy my slice of heaven.
I waited in line for 3 hours to get mine:
white, 16 gigabytes for two-ninety-nine.
The phone is thinner, I felt like a winner,
but there was more to buy.
They handed me a two year contract from AT&T,
then I started to cry.
Text messaging is not for free.
Another hundred dollars for MobileMe.
And I’m not a fan of your monthly plan.
I’m going to throw this contract in the garbage can.
‘Cause the new 3G has let me down.
I can’t get a signal in my rural town.
The camera’s whack.
It’s got a plastic back.
I’ve given too much money to the folks at Mac.
Did you foresee that people like me
wouldn’t be satisfied with your technology?
You thought your next generation
would sweep across the nation,
but your product doesn’t live up
to its expectations.
Did you foresee
that we would be unhappy?
Did you foresee
that we would go and buy the new Blackberry?
By Leah D’Emilio & Michael Gallagher
let me down – enttäuschen
garbage can – Mülleimer
whack – crazy, ridiculous, bad
sweep across – einnehmen
live up to expectations – Erwartungen gerecht werden