There are lessons to be learned at the zoo, especially from our new favorite animal, the tapir. Ms. Tapir tries to turn on her honey with high pitched squeals and a delicate spray of urine which she shoots straight out from her surprising rear atomizer. Each to his own. We were charmed by the gay ducks, and wish gays of all kinds a very happy marriage. By the way, the elephant cows have thrown out one of the headstrong bulls. Wize matriarchs.